Resonate your water for just $495!

| January 18, 2009

Courtesy of the “Weird Earl’s” section of The Straight Dope comes this wondrous device to, well, resonate your water or other beverages. I can do no better than to quote the product site itself:

The WATER RESONATOR is the original water balancing technology used by Tibetan and Buddhist monks for hundreds of years. Each one has been meticulously designed and handmade by Buddhist monks. Each consists of a gold-plated platform affixed to a gold-plated frame that is geometrically precise. The gold-plated platform has a neodymium activator magnet at its center on the underside. Mounted to the three precise triangles are the three primary resonator arrays which consist of three Siberian Blue, optically clear, laboratory grade quartz crystals.

Each of the three crystals has two gold-plated, properly polarized, neodymium magnets which are wound against the crystal with powerful pressure which activates the energy of the crystal, much like a quartz crystal watch which pulses to a precise rhythm. This highly pressurized copper winding, combined with the magnetic field of the dual magnets, appears to generate a high power pulsing effect which in turn causes a profoundly positive and beneficial effect on water and other liquid beverages.

It has been generally thought for a long time that passing a conductive fluid through a properly designed magnetic field has an effect on the polar molecules in the fluid. Even wine connoisseurs and professional wine tasters are using magnets these days to realign wine molecules to smooth and mature the taste of a young wine ( This effect, or an even more enhanced effect, can be achieved by placing wine or other beverages on the  WATER RESONATOR plate.

The WATER RESONATOR is a masterpiece of beauty, workmanship, form, and function. We choose to make no claims regarding the effects of this wonderful device; however, many users report that the  WATER RESONATOR is the most powerful water balancing and energizing technology they have ever used.

We are told by the Buddhist monks who make the WATER RESONATORS that each one is personally blessed by Buddha Maitreya. Each purchase of the WATER RESONATOR includes a special audio CD which features tones, blessings, and chants by Buddha Maitreya himself. The WATER RESONATORS were designed as a exclusive. Each one was hand made by Buddhist monks, so stock is very limited.

I like the disclaimer in the penultimate paragraph. I’m sure at $500 a pop, these WATER RESONATORS are selling like hotcakes. It is pretty, though.  ..bruce w..

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Category: Humor, Main, Science, Weird

About the Author ()

Webster is Principal and Founder at Bruce F. Webster & Associates, as well as an Adjunct Professor of Computer Science at Brigham Young University. He works with organizations to help them with troubled or failed information technology (IT) projects. He has also worked in several dozen legal cases as a consultant and as a testifying expert, both in the United States and Japan. He can be reached at, or you can follow him on Twitter as @bfwebster.

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