“The country’s in the very best of hands!”

| February 6, 2009

Synchronicity strikes again. Even as the Senate moves towards passing what may be the single worst and most disasterous piece of legislation in our generation, I happened to turn on TCM this evening and found the 1959 film version of “Li’l Abner” (itself based on the 1956 Broadway musical). Just a few minutes ago, a particular number came on: “The Country’s In The Very Best of Hands”. Given that this movie was made 50 years ago (and the Broadway play a few years before that), I found the lyrics for this number amazingly, and perhaps depressingly, timely. I’ve posted them after the jump:

THE COUNTRY’S IN THE VERY BEST OF HANDS

Them city folks and friends
Are pretty much alike
Though they ain’t used to living in the sticks
We don’t like stone or cement
But we is in agreement
When we get started talking politics
The country’s in the very best of hands

The best of hands
The best of hands
The treasury says the national debt
Is climbing to the sky
And government expenditures
Have never been so high
It makes a fellow get a
Gleam of pride when they decide
To see how our economy expands

The country’s in the very best of hands
The country’s in the very best of hands
The best of hands
The best of hands

You oughtta hear the Senate
When they’re drawing up a bill
Where asses and dimwits are crowded ’round each codicil
Such legal terminology
Would give your heart a thrill
There’s phrases there that no one understands
The country’s in the very best of hands

The building boom, they say
Is getting bigger every day
And when I asked a feller
How could everybody pay
He come up with an answer
That made everything okay
Supplies are getting greater than demands
The country’s in the very best of hands

Don’t you believe them congressmen
And senators are dumb
When they run into problems
That is tough to overcome
They just declare something
They call the moratorium
The upper and the lower house disbands
The country’s in the very best of hands

Fox Motors is connected to the nominee
The nominee’s connected to the treasury
When he ain’t connected to the treasury
He sits around on his thigh bone
He sits around in his fancy car
This big congressional parking lot
Just sits around on the you know what
‘Cause there they calls it their thigh bone
Them bones, them bones
Gonna rise again
Gonna exercise a franchise again
Gonna tax us up to our eyes again
When he gets them off of their thigh bone
The country’s in the very best of hands

The best of hands
The best of hands
The farm bill should be Eight-nine percent parity
And all their fellow recommends
It should be about ninety-three
But eighty, ninety-five percent
who cares about degree
It’s parity that no one understands
The country’s in the very best of hands

Them GOP’s and Democrats
Each hates the other one
They’s always criticizing
How the country should be run
But neither tell the public
What the others gone and done
As long as no one knows
Where no one stands
The country’s in the very best of hands

They sits around and just place their ass
Where folks in congress has always sat
Just sits around on their excess bag
Up there they calls it their thigh bone
They sits around till they starts to snore
Jumps up and hollers I has the floor
Then sits right down where they sats before
Up there they calls it their thigh bone
Them bones, them bones
Gonna cross again
So dignified and so wise again
While the budget doubles in size again
When it gets them off of their thigh bone
The country’s in the very best of hands

The best of hands
The best of hands
The money that they taxes us
That’s known as revenues
They compound up collaterals
Subtracts the residue
Don’t worry about the principal
And interest it accrues
They’re shipping all that stuff to foreign lands
The country’s in the very best of hands

Ouch, ouch, and ouch.  ..bruce w..

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Category: Economics, Main, Movies, Recession Watch, Stimulus

About the Author ()

Webster is Principal and Founder at Bruce F. Webster & Associates, as well as an Adjunct Professor of Computer Science at Brigham Young University. He works with organizations to help them with troubled or failed information technology (IT) projects. He has also worked in several dozen legal cases as a consultant and as a testifying expert, both in the United States and Japan. He can be reached at bwebster@bfwa.com, or you can follow him on Twitter as @bfwebster.

Comments (2)

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  1. Bruce Henderson says:

    Ok, that is odd. I work this very morning with the song “Jubilation T. Cornpone” running through my head. I think I need a new brain.

  2. bfwebster says:

    Sheesh, Bruce, I wouldn’t have thought you old enough to be that familiar with the movie. I remember watching it several times (on network TV) as a kid, but I’m not sure I had watched it in over 40 years before catching it on TMC last night.

    But, yeah, “Jubilation T. Cornpone” was my favorite song from the film even as a kid. ..bruce..